Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
