Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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