broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
