Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
