me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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