I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
