did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
