UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
