how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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