i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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