she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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