everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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