end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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