she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
