Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize