God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize