I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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