We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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