Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
