Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
