R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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