mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
