If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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