ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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