BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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