Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
