I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think my moral compass just broke
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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