Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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