Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

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(971): View more from Oregon

the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.

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(707): View more from California

My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her

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(989): View more from Michigan

If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

(906): View more from Michigan

I resent that

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(612): View more from Minnesota

She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.

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(845): View more from New York

So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low

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(410): View more from Maryland

He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover

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