I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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