Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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