Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
