Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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