alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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