He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
