Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
