I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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