So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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