you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She's the barista slut.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He shit in the fireplace
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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