Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
