hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
