I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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