I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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