That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
