Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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