Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
