Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
love makes seman taste better
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
