What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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