but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
