what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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