Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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