grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize