oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
