In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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