You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize