Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize