Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
