So drunk its hurt
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
