Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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